Thursdays

Well we did have a great day and I'm very proud of myself but more important my girl!!! I've been struggling lately with Mom guilt and feelings of doubt around my ability as a mom. Wondering if I was being really THERE for her if she felt that. I want to be the closest person to my daughter and have an unshakable bond. She is adopted and so this issue always crosses my mind. Does she really feel like I'm MOM or just another caregiver? I know in my heart she is bonded with me and she has here with us since Nov a year and a half ago. This issues are all my stuff and insecurities and I just need to deal with them. I also however have to ask why am I feeling this way and what can I do to change it .......... I was feeling guilty about not spending enough time with her and leaving her at playcare/babysitters /and grandmas. I was getting a sense of drawing back from her (in my eyes) and was concerned. So the answer is and was to spend more time LOL not leave her with other people (as much) and PLAY !!!!!!!!!! This week we have stayed home and not gone to play care and it has been really good for both of us. I took her there only two times in the afternoon for very short periods and we have had so much fun.
Yesterday I did my low impact aerobics in the sauna before breakfast and kicked it!!!! I had a blast and really rocked it out. I again did more sets on the step keeping my heart up a little longer and burned 400 cals on the button (again I'm 70 lbs so double that burn for a person of average weight)
Kaylee and I had a good breakfast and morn together and my heart melted as she came up to give me a big hug and said love you just.... out of the blue LOL (insert love sigh here) She too was so excited when I told her we were going to the yoga room to do our yoga together. We had a really fun class and this time I brought her walker in to balance on and play with. She tried some of the poses, climbed on me for others and played for parts of the class too. We had a good time though. We had a bath and got dressed then went downstairs to play before lunch. I made a few calls and talked to hubby for a min while she played then I went over and we colored some pics together. Then time for lunch and nap.......... AHHHHHHHHH (kidding lol)
In the afternoon we went and worked at playcare ( I volunteer there ) When I told her she asked mommy play too??!! I said yes and she got all excited. We had fun and played and read and cleaned up and then I did a quick 20 mins of vibration training. I went back to get her hit the store and then home for dinner.
That was my day in nut shell. Dinner, bed for miss mew and a walk on the treadmill while talking to hubby followed by my nightly bowl of popcorn and tv HEHE good time and good talk